Me as Communicator

This week I evaluated myself on the Communication Anxiety Inventory, Verbal Aggressiveness Inventory, and the Listening Styles Profile.  My results did not seem too surprising to me.  On the Communication Inventory, I scored a 42 which put me at the mild level.  This seems correct to me as I do not put much thought and worry into communication.  The Verbal Aggressiveness Scale rated a 63, putting me at moderate with a good balance.  Lastly, the Listening Scale rated me at Group 1 or people-oriented.

When I consulted both my colleague as well as my husband, they both scored me at similar levels on the listening scale and the communication scale, however the verbal aggressiveness scale was surprising.  My colleague rated me at a 43, or low level.  She mentioned that she found me to be quite easy going, non-confrontational, and very kind.  My husband, however, rated me at a 74, placing me at the significant level.

This exercise was eye opening to me in that I feel that I may be easy going and non-confrontational in the workplace, however at home with my significant other, I am considerably more aggressive. While I am glad that I am perceived as easy going and personable in my profession, I am a bit sharp in my personal life and I need to be a little mindful of this.

Communicating With Different Groups

Think about the cultural diversity you see in your colleagues at school, in your neighborhood, in your workplace, and also, possibly, within your family. Consider all the aspects that make up culture, including race, religion, political affiliation, sexual orientation, varying abilities, and so on.

• Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures?
• If yes, in what ways do you communicate differently?

I do find myself communicating differently with different people.  I am a preschool teacher, and find myself speaking in language that is age appropriate for them, but sometimes taking that language a bit higher in order to provide opportunities for higher level thinking and problem solving.  Teaching in Camden City School District involves families of different cultures.  Many of my parents speak Spanish and I need to be able to communicate somewhat effectively with those families.  Because of this language difference, I speak slowly and clearly, and utilize Spanish language whenever possible.  Also, I am careful that my tone and demeanor is non-offensive and laid back.  II find that if my tone or body language seems rushed or anxious, this creates poor rapport and becomes a barrier to communication.  I also have a different communication with my professional colleagues at school.  When it is a laid back social situation, my language is just that, however when language is taking place in a professional situation, higher level communication and professional field language is utilized.  

Some strategies that I utilized within my communication are the following.

1.  I never assume anything about the people I am communicating with.  I always am mindful that my body language and tone is inviting and non-confrontational.   

2.  When communicating with others who speak a language other than English, I always try and utilize some of their words for understanding.  Additionally, my tone and body language is calm and does not indicate discomfort  or non-acceptance.  

3.  I always try and maintain composure, even when dialogue may turn confrontational or negative.  I keep my character at all costs and try and remain kind and calm.

4.  Lastly, I do not try to "pver talk" myself to make myself appear smarter or better than the person I am talking to.  I find that this can create a very sticky and uncomfortable situation for all involved.  

Nonverbal Communication

The task this week was a little different for me as I do not watch much television.  I turned on the tv while cooking dinner and muted an episode of Judge Judy.  It started off with a woman taking another woman to court over something to do with a dog (I assume that because the woman suing had a little dog in court with her).  The woman doing the suing appeared very distraught during the explanation as she seemed to become emotional during the explanation, displayed by some crying and wiping of tears.  The defendant had a smuglike smirk and at one point the camera turned to Judge Judy and you could see that she appeared to me lecturing the defendant in a heated manner because her face was wearing a scowl and she was gesturing aggressively with her arms and hands.

Once I watched the show with sound I found out that the plaintiff was suing for damage done to her little dog by the neighbors dog which was running loose.  The defendant was not the least bit remorseful and this made Judge Judy very upset and she gave the defendant a lecture for being a negligent pet owner who was not taking responsibility for their pet.

My interpretation of the show was somewhat spot on, and I interpreted it fairly close to the actual story line.  I feel that because of the nature of the show, I was able to interpret without sound, however if it were an actual sitcom or a similar show with more story, I don't believe that I would have understood nearly as much.  Facial expression and body language can tell a story within itself and really does tell a story without necessary words.

"The Competent Communicator"

This week begins the first week in the "EC Communication" course and I am excited to start this journey.  When asked to choose someone who is a competent communicator, I could not help but think of a colleague of mine.  This woman is the parent coordinator / education specialist for our district and she has truly mastered communication.  She has a knack for communicating respectfully, keeping the flow, and dispelling negativity.  She is always prepared and well informed, and when she does not have the answers, she has a flair for explaining that she will work on this and reconvene.  This professional is an asset to our district, and at the close of this course, I aspire to be an effective communicator such as her.

Good luck to all this course!!

Professional Hopes and Goals

As we come to the close of this course, I would like to tell my classmates thank you for all of your valuable feedback and support.  One of the greatest parts of this experience is learning from those in the field and you are all truly a part of this experience.  Best luck in your future endeavors!

The one hope that I have for working with diverse families is that I am a model for others working in the field.  I profess to have an open mind and a caring heart and I act accordingly. I have learned o much about respect and how we should treat and be treated and I just hope that this practice shows in my character.

This hope also directly relates to my goal, as it is quite similar. My goal is to not forget the lessons learned and the stories told, but to embrace them for the betterment of change for myself and all of those I come in contact with.

Farewell and best regards...

Welcoming Families From Around the World

This week we are asked to explain how we would welcome a child and their family from a country we know nothing about.  It is very ironic that this is the blog  task, because I was just informed this past week that I have a new child starting September 2nd from Chile.  I know nothing about Chile except that it is located in South America.

I intend to prepare for this child by researching Chile. This will give me a little insight on what the country is about.  I have found out that their primary language is Spanish.  My classroom is labeled in English and Spanish, and my IA speaks Spanish and I have a little Spanish language skills.  I found trade pictures about  Chile on the internet that I printed out and posted in the classroom.  Additionally, I found 2 children's books on Amazon, that I have ordered.  These children's books are "A Pen Pal For Max" by Gloria and Ted Rand, and "My Name is Gabriela" by Monica Brown and John Parra.

My intention is to help make this family feel as comfortable as possible by preparing a easy transition for their child.  I do not know if the family is coming to NJ because of family, displacement, or other.  I do not know if this move is positive or negative, but I will be welcoming.  I would like to assume that the family is experiencing a positive transition, but I will offer to help them further in any way I can.

   

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

I am sure we have all had an incident of bias, prejudice, or oppression.  One scenario which I remember as though it were yesterday happened about 2 years ago.  Being a teacher, and having the summer off, I decided to work at the local supermarket for the summer.  The market is in a suburb of Philadelphia in southern NJ and is comprised of predominantly middle class Caucasian people, many with Italian heritage.  I recall one Saturday morning, this older gentleman coming to the deli for some meats.  One of my co-workers said to him, as he was a "regular",  "Oh Karen is like you Joe, she's a teacher too!".  Joe said that he was a retired high school teacher from Pitman NJ, (another suburb, very "Brady-ish" very old school way Caucasian, known to be stuck in a time of non-conformity and change type of town).  He then went on to say that Pitman had some of the most beautiful girls in the world, but that's beginning to change.  Somewhat puzzled, I asked why the change.  He told me "well, they are allowing the dark ones in.'   He was very nonchalant and comfortable saying this to me, I assume because I am Caucasian, and appeared to be like him.  Completely shocked and very taken aback, I did not know how to respond, but allowed the conversation to continue out of a lack of words for the situation, and the fact that I am professional and do not like to be taken out of character.  He then asked me where and what I teach, and I told him I was a Pre-K teacher for the Camden City School District (Camden is directly across the river from Philadelphia, very urban with a dominant African American and Hispanic culture, high drugs and crime, and happens to be the #1 murder city in the US due to its high numbers and small area).  He looked at me with an astonished look and said "Wow, how do you handle working with the blacks?"  (I feel the need to mention that he was "dead serious" with this question!!!)  At this point I was really peeved and totally disgusted, but my personality is somewhat dry and a little sarcastic so I put on a smile and responded loud enough for many to hear..."I don't mind it really, I am used to being around the "blacks" because my husband is "black".  The man looked at my co-worker (who was almost choking) and said "Is she telling the truth?" and he responded by saying yes.  The man, quite embarrassed and hopefully ashamed of himself, immediately gathered his deli order and walked away.  I just looked at my co-worker and said "Well I am glad he is retired because his narrow minded self is stuck in the 50's and that really is not conducive to being a teacher." and continued working.

This incident diminished equity, because the man assumed that we were equal, and that people, mainly African Americans, are not.  When finding out that I did not think or feel the way he did, he fled the situation and I would assume, looked down upon me or thought me to be sub-standard.

This situation makes me seethe with anger, and what makes it worse is that he is an educator.  This just goes to show that while times may change, some mindsets stay the same.  One would think that a teacher would have an open mind for all people regardless of their diversity, but that is just not the case.  If I had to speculate, he probably did not publicize his feelings in the workplace, but he was obviously open with his feelings now.   (I guess you can put on the game face with out really internalizing the feelings).

This gentleman would have to change (along with a large percentage of the population who still looks at Caucasian as being the superior race, and others are just  second class) for equity purposes.