The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

I am sure we have all had an incident of bias, prejudice, or oppression.  One scenario which I remember as though it were yesterday happened about 2 years ago.  Being a teacher, and having the summer off, I decided to work at the local supermarket for the summer.  The market is in a suburb of Philadelphia in southern NJ and is comprised of predominantly middle class Caucasian people, many with Italian heritage.  I recall one Saturday morning, this older gentleman coming to the deli for some meats.  One of my co-workers said to him, as he was a "regular",  "Oh Karen is like you Joe, she's a teacher too!".  Joe said that he was a retired high school teacher from Pitman NJ, (another suburb, very "Brady-ish" very old school way Caucasian, known to be stuck in a time of non-conformity and change type of town).  He then went on to say that Pitman had some of the most beautiful girls in the world, but that's beginning to change.  Somewhat puzzled, I asked why the change.  He told me "well, they are allowing the dark ones in.'   He was very nonchalant and comfortable saying this to me, I assume because I am Caucasian, and appeared to be like him.  Completely shocked and very taken aback, I did not know how to respond, but allowed the conversation to continue out of a lack of words for the situation, and the fact that I am professional and do not like to be taken out of character.  He then asked me where and what I teach, and I told him I was a Pre-K teacher for the Camden City School District (Camden is directly across the river from Philadelphia, very urban with a dominant African American and Hispanic culture, high drugs and crime, and happens to be the #1 murder city in the US due to its high numbers and small area).  He looked at me with an astonished look and said "Wow, how do you handle working with the blacks?"  (I feel the need to mention that he was "dead serious" with this question!!!)  At this point I was really peeved and totally disgusted, but my personality is somewhat dry and a little sarcastic so I put on a smile and responded loud enough for many to hear..."I don't mind it really, I am used to being around the "blacks" because my husband is "black".  The man looked at my co-worker (who was almost choking) and said "Is she telling the truth?" and he responded by saying yes.  The man, quite embarrassed and hopefully ashamed of himself, immediately gathered his deli order and walked away.  I just looked at my co-worker and said "Well I am glad he is retired because his narrow minded self is stuck in the 50's and that really is not conducive to being a teacher." and continued working.

This incident diminished equity, because the man assumed that we were equal, and that people, mainly African Americans, are not.  When finding out that I did not think or feel the way he did, he fled the situation and I would assume, looked down upon me or thought me to be sub-standard.

This situation makes me seethe with anger, and what makes it worse is that he is an educator.  This just goes to show that while times may change, some mindsets stay the same.  One would think that a teacher would have an open mind for all people regardless of their diversity, but that is just not the case.  If I had to speculate, he probably did not publicize his feelings in the workplace, but he was obviously open with his feelings now.   (I guess you can put on the game face with out really internalizing the feelings).

This gentleman would have to change (along with a large percentage of the population who still looks at Caucasian as being the superior race, and others are just  second class) for equity purposes.