Week 8 - Bittersweet Farewell

These past eight weeks I have learned so much regarding communication, and I believe that I have become a better communicator in all aspects of my life.  I would like to take this time to thank all of my colleagues for all of their feedback this course, I learned so much through these connections.  Best of luck to all with your endeavors, both professional and personal.  Furthermore, I would like to thank Dr. Parrish for the feedback and support she has extended during this course, it has been truly a pleasure to have you as professor once again.

Bittersweet farewells to all

Karen Thompson
Edukater2007@aol.com

Adjourning Groups

I have been involved in many different types of groups, professional as well as personal.  I feel that all groups, when they work well together, are bittersweet when they come to an end.  When you have a group that struggles and then comes together beautifully, it’s hard to see it end.    Likewise, a group that meshes from the onset and runs like a machine is hard to leave as well.  When a group is productive, no matter what the process or outcome, the end should be a time for celebration and reflection. 

The hardest group adjournment that I was involved in was a group of parents who were rallying to keep a program in my child’s elementary school.  The funding was cut and we hated to see the program be cut, so we formed a group to try and change the inevitable.  We worked together beautifully, with a few minor disagreements which actually grew our bond even more.  After almost a year of accomplishments, we were still unable to keep the program alive, however the fight was definitely worth it. 

Upon the close of this group, we gathered for one last time and celebrated our labor of love and recognized each other for our hard work.  While we were not really successful in keeping the program, we built some lasting friendships and had a great group experience.  Our last meeting was at a member’s home, and was a relaxed environment with good conversation and a few tears. 

I feel that different groups end differently.  Sometimes professional groups I have been involved in just ended without warning, one day we were there, the next day we were done.  These types of ending are the most painstaking because I feel as though all my hard work and dedication was completely invalidated.

As this group of academic colleagues come to an end, I feel that some of us may continue to network and just share a common bond as educators.  I, for one, find that having colleagues from different areas and walks of life makes for a great information resource and a different set of eyes or ears.  I am confident that I will have some lasting contact with some of my Walden colleagues for many years to come.

Strategies to Avoid Conflict

Avoiding confrontation and negative communication has been something that has come pretty natural. One strategy I use often is to listen and compromise.  When I feel that my view differed from another's, I am always sure to listen to the view of the other, and then try and compromise.  This seems to work on numerous occasions.  The second strategy I use is what I call "keep my composure and never be afraid to walk away".  My mother instilled this strategy at an early age.  She always said stay true to who you are and when you feel as though your comfort zone may be breeched, walk away and try again later.  

These two strategies (if one would like to call them this) have served me well for 40 years.  While I have had some "healthy debates" over the years, I really cannot say that I have had any highly negative misunderstandings.  I am easy going by nature and always tend to think positively and try and take the role of the other when presented.  

Me as Communicator

This week I evaluated myself on the Communication Anxiety Inventory, Verbal Aggressiveness Inventory, and the Listening Styles Profile.  My results did not seem too surprising to me.  On the Communication Inventory, I scored a 42 which put me at the mild level.  This seems correct to me as I do not put much thought and worry into communication.  The Verbal Aggressiveness Scale rated a 63, putting me at moderate with a good balance.  Lastly, the Listening Scale rated me at Group 1 or people-oriented.

When I consulted both my colleague as well as my husband, they both scored me at similar levels on the listening scale and the communication scale, however the verbal aggressiveness scale was surprising.  My colleague rated me at a 43, or low level.  She mentioned that she found me to be quite easy going, non-confrontational, and very kind.  My husband, however, rated me at a 74, placing me at the significant level.

This exercise was eye opening to me in that I feel that I may be easy going and non-confrontational in the workplace, however at home with my significant other, I am considerably more aggressive. While I am glad that I am perceived as easy going and personable in my profession, I am a bit sharp in my personal life and I need to be a little mindful of this.

Communicating With Different Groups

Think about the cultural diversity you see in your colleagues at school, in your neighborhood, in your workplace, and also, possibly, within your family. Consider all the aspects that make up culture, including race, religion, political affiliation, sexual orientation, varying abilities, and so on.

• Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from different groups and cultures?
• If yes, in what ways do you communicate differently?

I do find myself communicating differently with different people.  I am a preschool teacher, and find myself speaking in language that is age appropriate for them, but sometimes taking that language a bit higher in order to provide opportunities for higher level thinking and problem solving.  Teaching in Camden City School District involves families of different cultures.  Many of my parents speak Spanish and I need to be able to communicate somewhat effectively with those families.  Because of this language difference, I speak slowly and clearly, and utilize Spanish language whenever possible.  Also, I am careful that my tone and demeanor is non-offensive and laid back.  II find that if my tone or body language seems rushed or anxious, this creates poor rapport and becomes a barrier to communication.  I also have a different communication with my professional colleagues at school.  When it is a laid back social situation, my language is just that, however when language is taking place in a professional situation, higher level communication and professional field language is utilized.  

Some strategies that I utilized within my communication are the following.

1.  I never assume anything about the people I am communicating with.  I always am mindful that my body language and tone is inviting and non-confrontational.   

2.  When communicating with others who speak a language other than English, I always try and utilize some of their words for understanding.  Additionally, my tone and body language is calm and does not indicate discomfort  or non-acceptance.  

3.  I always try and maintain composure, even when dialogue may turn confrontational or negative.  I keep my character at all costs and try and remain kind and calm.

4.  Lastly, I do not try to "pver talk" myself to make myself appear smarter or better than the person I am talking to.  I find that this can create a very sticky and uncomfortable situation for all involved.  

Nonverbal Communication

The task this week was a little different for me as I do not watch much television.  I turned on the tv while cooking dinner and muted an episode of Judge Judy.  It started off with a woman taking another woman to court over something to do with a dog (I assume that because the woman suing had a little dog in court with her).  The woman doing the suing appeared very distraught during the explanation as she seemed to become emotional during the explanation, displayed by some crying and wiping of tears.  The defendant had a smuglike smirk and at one point the camera turned to Judge Judy and you could see that she appeared to me lecturing the defendant in a heated manner because her face was wearing a scowl and she was gesturing aggressively with her arms and hands.

Once I watched the show with sound I found out that the plaintiff was suing for damage done to her little dog by the neighbors dog which was running loose.  The defendant was not the least bit remorseful and this made Judge Judy very upset and she gave the defendant a lecture for being a negligent pet owner who was not taking responsibility for their pet.

My interpretation of the show was somewhat spot on, and I interpreted it fairly close to the actual story line.  I feel that because of the nature of the show, I was able to interpret without sound, however if it were an actual sitcom or a similar show with more story, I don't believe that I would have understood nearly as much.  Facial expression and body language can tell a story within itself and really does tell a story without necessary words.

"The Competent Communicator"

This week begins the first week in the "EC Communication" course and I am excited to start this journey.  When asked to choose someone who is a competent communicator, I could not help but think of a colleague of mine.  This woman is the parent coordinator / education specialist for our district and she has truly mastered communication.  She has a knack for communicating respectfully, keeping the flow, and dispelling negativity.  She is always prepared and well informed, and when she does not have the answers, she has a flair for explaining that she will work on this and reconvene.  This professional is an asset to our district, and at the close of this course, I aspire to be an effective communicator such as her.

Good luck to all this course!!